Warning! Rambling Guest Column Ahead!

Note: Jeff wrote the headline himself so blame him for the enthusiastic use of !'s.

My first guest blog appearance… This is very exciting.

If there is anything in this piece that is in any way not highly interesting and/or entertaining, you can just assume that Andrea edited it before she published it. Just kidding. Sort of.

On to my impressions of “CFS Club” at Nelson’s.

Hello Chicken Fry!

Here’s a picture of me doing a Fonzie pose by the “Hello Chicken Fry” sign. Andrea noted on our way in that I seem to really enjoy posing for pictures in front of signs. And I think she’s right. Look how happy I am!

I can’t explain it, but I do really enjoy having my picture taken in front of unusual signs. I would really like to post the one of me taken in front of the famous homeless “bathroom” disclaimer in the parking garage of the Atlas Life building, but this is a food-related blog, so I’ll abstain. (If you’ve seen it, you know what I’m talking about.)

I will tell you that my biggest recent regret is not taking my picture in front of the sign I saw in western Colorado last summer that warned of possible bear attacks. It was so funny because it noted that there was a bear in the area and gave tips on what to do if/when you encountered said bear. I don’t know if I would remember to follow the sign’s directions if I ever encountered a bear somewhere in western Colorado. I would mostly just hope that I had some sort of large-caliber firearm or fast-moving motor vehicle near by. Anyway… how cool is a sign like that? Too bad I didn’t think to take a picture of myself in front of it. Because I would definitely post it here if I had.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah… Nelson’s. So I used to go to the downtown Nelson’s a lot several years ago during the good old telecom meltdown days when I was a young PR guy at Williams Communications/WilTel. For some reason, crippling job stress made me crave deep-fried red meat and gravy.

The experience at the new location was much the same as the old place. Two things I always really liked about Nelson’s: (1) they warn you (with a sign!) to have your order ready when you get to the counter and (2) they are clearly annoyed if some hayseed steps up to the counter without their order ready.

I really think that we need more stringent expectations of consumers everywhere, like at the grocery store, for example. (Express means express! If you have a push basket, you should NOT be in the express line, even if you have “about” 14 items.)

The good news is these stringent guidelines are still in place at the new Nelson’s.

So being Nelson’s veterans, Andrea, Steve and I were poised with our order when we hit the counter. Unfortunately for me, Steve snagged the last chicken-fried steak, and it was going to be “about 5 minutes” for the next batch. With a long line of grizzled CFS veterans behind me and the place filling up fast, we were more than a little bit concerned about CFS-clubbers showing up and not being able to sit. So, instead of waiting the 5 minutes for the famous CFS, I opted for “chicken-fried chicken.” (Sidebar: why isn’t it just called “fried chicken?”) I was a bit bummed about not getting the CFS, but as you can see from this picture, I found the CFC to be acceptable.

One of the great things about CFS Club is learning about things that you weren’t aware of before. Like when Joy McGill and Kerry Malone were discussing the sprawling pork processing industry in the Oklahoma and Texas panhandles. Apparently that’s become a really big deal in the past 10-20 years and both Kerry and Joy provided a treasure trove of information about it.

I think my favorite story was the one about how the “product” makes its way down this big long conveyer-type thing and it’s sorted by its varying degrees of quality and other unspeakable things.

So basically you’re starting with the highest quality product on one end and then well… needless to say… the very last stop is “pet food.” I was actually sort of pleasantly surprised to learn that the very last stop wasn’t “hot dogs.” But I’m sure it was close to the end.

Who’s hungry?

- Jeff Pounds. Celebrity Club Czar. Ask him about it. Maybe you can get in.

Nelson's - Guest Blogger: Steve Higgins

Being handed the last plate of Nelson’s chicken fried steak while a pack of hungry carnivores stands impatiently in line behind you makes one feel slightly like an usher at The Who’s 1979 Cincinnati show.

When this happens twice on consecutive visits, one may wonder if next time things could get ugly.

It’s a testament to the well-oiled (and I mean well-oiled) machine that is Nelson’s Ranch House (né Buffeteria) that the next sizzling hot batch of CFS is only minutes away. By the time the beef-craving horde has tucked into its plates of pillowy, gravy-smattered mashed potatoes, green beans cooked to the brink of deterioration and, of course, steak, they’ve happily drifted off into a state of comfort-food bliss, completely forgetting about the minor delay in service.

This is down-home cooking as it should be – no frills, no apologies and no substitutions. The potatoes manage to be lump-free and at the same time, still taste like potatoes. The unctuous white gravy covers everything cozily, like grandma’s favorite quilt. The other “sides,” (aka vegetables) are mostly an afterthought, but the okra and mac n’ cheese are satisfying enough to make it worth the trip for a vegetarian at the table. (A “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is encouraged when it comes to the use of pork fat in the green beans.)

And then there’s the steak itself. The hallmarks of classic CFS are all there: Tenderness, check. Crunchy crust, check. Ample size, check.

Yes, the food lives up to its lofty heritage. But in the end, Nelson’s doesn’t sell lunch as much as it sells nostalgia — a communal road trip back in time to a Tulsa where people’s lives seemed simpler and happier. Did that Tulsa ever really exist, outside of our gravy-clouded psyches?

Maybe or maybe not. But order the pie, just in case.

You're going too far, Andrea. Too far.

While I hate the idea of managing another twitter account - I'm not that great with the ones I'm doing now - I do think a Twitter account for CFS Club could be handy. But what should the profile pic be? Someone have a good picture of some CFS. Maybe smiling or something? Open to suggestions... Lemme know.

grease-filled memories...

Just read through these old blog posts. Wow. Memories. Do you all remember?

The ambitious plans we had for the club. The disappointments when our lives got in the way. The randomness of the conversations we had. The plethora of CFS we enjoyed.

Good times.

Today was the first CFS Club in a few months. And, it marks the first time since 2007 that I've posted on the blog. Seems like a good time to revive it. If for nothing else than the snickers my friends will get from my early posts. Back in the good old days. The internet was new. Blogs were practically unheard of until this one became famous. And I was in my 20s.

Thanks to twitter, planning a CFS Club meeting is easier than ever. No email lists to keep up with. Just post it, read it, tell a friend, show up, enjoy CFS, repeat. Easy. (Follow me or CFS Club for the latest, greatest information you'll by dying to know)

Look forward to telling you about today's fabulous meeting of fabulous minds. New post to come.
Peace, Love, CFS (had to revive the old sign-off. :)

Andrea

CFS Club March 6

Hey ya'll --

CFS Club is back and it's badder than ever.

March 6.

11:30 a.m.

First recommendation of place wins. There was a restaurant highlighted in Scott Cherry's Tulsa World review last week. It included a GREAT photo of some CFS. I don't remember the name of the place though. Whatever. Send me your ideas. I'd say we should go to the Tulsa Press Club because the CFS there is the BEST and if you say otherwise I'll stab you in the jaw... (inside joke, sorry). However, they only have CFS on Wednesday and our Rotarian friends can't make CFS Club on Wednesdays because they have to sing the star spangled banner at their weekly meeting (no offense, of course. you know i love the 4 way test!). Anyway, let me know what you think by commenting.

I miss you guys! Look forward to seeing you all soon at the next CFS club. Here's the current meeting agenda...

1. What's up (what's going on with everyone?)
2. Announcements (it's whatever you want it to be)
3. Next CFS Club meeting (i'm thinking every 2 months, first Tues. of the month?)
4. New $*#& (what's new?)

Look forward to seeing you all then. Don't forget to let us know if you're coming (via commenting) so we can get a table big enough and reserve some CFS if necessary. :)

Again, I welcome your recommendations of restaurants. Maybe something new???

Don't forget that your friends and family are totally welcome at CFS. If you think they're cool enough, then I do too. So bring them along!

XOXO
Andrea

FYI - I've been reading some interesting stuff lately (some of you have been getting random messages with random info from me lately). Anyway, so I thought this would be a good place to park it all. So I'll update the blog regularly with this randomness. Feel free to check back as you see fit. Once this blog is super popular, i'll share the advertising proceeds with all of you old schoolers. Love ya!

For all of you buy local folks here in tulsa check out the Indie Tulsa blog.

Shane's Special My Special Day

So last week's CFS club meeting was a bust. I was out of town. Jeff - the designated hitter for the CFS czar - was sick. Nicole was deep in the channels. Those that RSVP'd weren't there for unknown reasons. So no one went. Except for Shane. And anyone else who didn't know Shane and showed up too. So I'm SOOOOOOO very sorry. For those of you who said you'd be there, but didn't show, Shane is pissed. :)

Planning too far in advance just doesn't work for this group. So I'll spring it on you and see how we do...

Nov. 8
11 a.m.
Tulsa Press Club

This will be my special day because it's my annual birthday CFS club meeting. However, it will be Shane's special day because he was the only one of us dedicated enough to show up last week. This one's for you, Shane.

Hope to see you then.

Don't forget - two important things to remember on November 7 - RSVP for CFS and VOTE!

XOXO
Andrea

ALERT ALERT ALERT

Megan wins the 'find the mistake in Andrea's post' contest... I can't do CFS on Oct. 26 because of PRSA's Professional Development conference. Oops! Thanks for the reminder, Megan. So let's reschedule - and sorry for the inconvenience... new details....

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 25
Same time, Same place.
RSVP by Oct. 23

See you there,
Andrea

CFS CLUB... IT'S ALIVE!!!!!

Long time... no CFS...

I've missed you guys! I've especially missed the cfs, but you guys too.

So let's reconvene the CFS Club by meeting...

Thursday, Oct. 26
We order at 11:30 a.m.
Bros. Houligan, 15th and Lewis-ish

Let me know by Oct. 25 if you're joining us so I can save a spot.

I look forward to seeing you all then. It's been too long! And remember, you're welcome to invite a friend along as long as they're cool.

Peace, Love, CFS
Andrea